Evo @ 11

After last week’s extra long show (and boy did I get yelled at) this week we’re down under Evo’s limit. What a frikkin’ tyrant! But there’s a new intro and outro. Sure would be nice to have some promos to stick in here.

Choice Bits

• This show brought to you by Comfort Wipes. Order yours today so we can laugh at you.
• Mellow, depressive, maybe you should stop listening now.
• It takes a bit of nudging but Sheila confesses her drug problem.
• Turns out Evo has never had a real blow job.
• And 12 hours later…
• I got my hair cut (quite a let down after previous conversation)
• What kind of tacky sticker crap do you have on your vehicle?
• Anyone want to pose for the male version silouette?
• Star Wars in Concert.  Great place to try your first Churro.
• ThinkGeek has a tauntaun sleeping bag. Great idea, except I think it’s kid sized and it costs $99. I’ll pass.
• More Heroes suckage. Can’t stop watching, just in case it gets better.
• We’re done. Better luck next week.

Thanks for the heavy petting over the show notes. Now if someone could just figure out why we can’t update any of the plugins here that would be great.

Podcast: Download (20.7MB)

Today’s drinking game – take a drink every time someone says chicken and/or waffles. If you make it through to the end, leave us a comment with your guess of total mentions. Winner gets a

Choice Bits

• Are you still listening?
• Unguided Missile of Debauchery
• Apologies for last week.
• Evo’s chicken and waffles orgasm.
• MALT vinegar, not regular white vinegar
• Lazy-anna hot sauce.
• Whip out a flask of malt vinegar
• Zoo debacle
• I want my no money back
• Lame Evo Line
• Little Jackie Mangan finally arrives
• Bitch!
• Evo’s sound effect is Evo screaming MotherFucker! Oh wait, there’s an actual and appropriate sound effect.
• Rocky Horrible recap.
• Geriatric Rocky Horror at Evo’s.
• Funny how we all think Evo’s a sub except him.
• A dentisht who ishn’t effective.
• Cigarette packs in Canada are labeled more obnoxiously than ours.
• Loving family photos vs child porn.
• Heroes fail and it’s Jack’s fault.
• BSG flashed during the Emmy Awards.
• Boston Legal is a drama?
• Apologies to retarded people.
• Restart of the chicken and waffles conversation.
• Women are from Evil, men are from Jackass.
• #dwts = do what they say.
• They built a bar in the basement, use at your own risk.
• Poor Marshall, we just use you for your physical talents.
• “Don’t break my fuckin’ pole.”
• Family friendly strip club where pole proximity is important.
• Fit to Strip by Carmen Electra?
• I’m a nutritionist’s nightmare.
• We’ll plan a Beer and Cereal episode with Charlie the Beer_Guy NOT Charlie the Unicorn!
• HallowEvo food theme suggestions.
• Call Jack’s voice mail line for a change.

Podcast: Download (43.7MB)

Recorded live at Balticon! With Patrick E. McLean, a bottle of Macallan 12-year-old scotch, Bill DeSmedt, Sheila Dee and P.G. Holyfield. It’s long. It’s wild. Kinda like me.

Choice Bits

• Apologies for last week’s show

• But there will be no fellatio
• I jotted down show notes, but I’m not too sure I can read them
• Ding
• Evo ate a baby on the plane
• What strange shit can you say right now?
• Is there a chemist in the room?
• You may put your mouth all over my scotch
• Now I’m just the fucking errand boy
• Tommy Chong’s Waffle House
• I’m a dick
• Phil Rossi was banned from this show two years ago
• It means “nice ass” in Lat
• “How are you living a little”
• I wanna fuck you like a chemist
• I can’t deal with anything that ends in “Z”. Like the alphabet?
• The opposite of ding sounds racist, so I’m not gonna say it
• Shut up, it’s my show
• I’m sorry, four and five didn’t make it
• The good news is; I don’t care
• Holy shit I need some more field scotch
• Science Thriction?
• Just looking for a reason to hate
• But now the bitch cleans
• Has anyone in the audience done an alcohol enema?
• Ding.

Podcast: Download (33.5MB)

Cj Fiero-bender joins us. And the topics are all over the place. I thought this show was supposed to be about me, dammit!?!

Choice Bits

• These are my bitches

• It’s Debbie’s birthday
• I didn’t bring you the Swine flu
• There are more people killed every year by deer
• Balticon 43 promo
• It tastes like adrenaline, as in I just chewed someone’s adrenal gland
• The inside is liquid evil
• All joking aside — that was vile. And it might have been bile.
• It’s one side of your evil face in the dark
• Seth Harwood coming to Phoenix in June
• Are you over 21?
• Do not deliver to an intoxicated person
• Did you get something from dildos.com?
• Watch the video of Seth’s dog eating a steak
• There weren’t too many people drunker than Cj that night
• … and I just leapt into his arms because I had been drinking
• He was like a drink-ticket ATM
• Love Long and Prosper promo
• You usually dress like I do — as little as socially possible
• Assless chaps, baby
• You showed her the vinyl outfit?
• We can’t offend people anymore
• For the record, you can give anyone a blow job, on air, for your birthday, or just because it’s Wednesday
• The flu is not on peoples’ ass
• I don’t care how big your ass is, you’re not going to get the swine flu from it
• His friend had to go to Best Buy to take a dump

Podcast: Download (26.6MB)

I don’t think you can write explicit large enough to describe this new opening. Holy cow.

Get three SF geeks in a room and give two of them beer, and this is what happens.

Choice Bits

• Apologies for last week.
• Spot the Cannabis Leaf
• Ejaculate and ejaculate are spelled the same, yet pronounced differently
• I think I just made that word up, too
• Oh my god this is some nasty shit!
• We’re just gonna drink more of this shit and just get stupid drunk after about 3 more drinks
• It coats, soothes and relieves
• Is there a backwards-talking midget?
• You’re not Jonathan Coulton
• But they both end in “illion”
• 10^+5th, 10^-5th… whatever.
• The difference is more than you can conceive in your tiny little ape-brain
• If Hera is mitochondrial Eve, we should all have a little Centurion brain in us
• I don’t have all the factoids up my ass
• I think humans came from another planet
• That ball-and-socket joint was built by god
• Go in the past and bugger Ben
• I have been trying my best to warp myself
• I’m pretty sure your kids are all from different dads.
• Special show next week for Joe

Podcast: Download (34.8MB)

This show is way to jumpy for detailed show notes. So deal with the choice bits and keywords for the most part. We do put a wrap on Tyler‘s question You must hang out for the ending! Thanks, Brad P from N.J. for the new one!

Promo for Love Long and Prosper. Sounds like a threesome between Dan, CJ and Jack.

Choice Bits

• Apologies for last week. P.G. was late. That’ll teach him

• Evo fucked up in front of 300+ people
• I like my women cheap and dirty when they are wearing makeup.
• And this may be a sign that I’m an alcoholic
• You are actually much better at submission than I am
• I don’t want to be cute, I want to be laid
• You just let her spray something in your mouth?
• Not furries, because furries are nasty
• Think how much Jesus hates you right now
• You’d be able to figure this out quicker if you stopped drinking all the time
• Get off my lawn!
• One deep dicking and she switches right back
• If only I had a shorter cock

Podcast: Download (23.2MB)

Summary

Surprise! We decided to kick out another show for you. Just because we like you. Jack Mangan is the guest. It was supposed to be ‘Jack at 11′, but it turned into a grooming show. Go figure.

Promo for The Seanachai. ‘Cuz Patrick McLean is cool and funny.

Choice Bits

• Apologies for last week’s show

• Is this Evo at 22?
• I want to see you in tights
• I’m the Don King of superhero wrestling
• Talk about your box, honey
• Craves bacon, would like to see mother dead
• Special powers of folding toilet paper
• Why does ever show end up with Evo in the toilet?
• I’ve prayed to that toilet god
• Suck the joy right out of it
• It looked like someone had a car crash on his chest

More… »

Podcast: Download (24.0MB)

Summary

Keith Garner joins us from the blustery north country of Chicago. And we talk all over the damned place, so it’s another one of the “just read the Choice Bits and Keywords” shows.

Debbie snuck in a promo for The Seanachai. I love Patrick’s show, so I’ll not bitch too much.

Choice Bits

• P.G. tells you what he learned on last week’s show.

• Fuck balance when you’re drinking an IPA
• Why isn’t every one in Phoenix skinny?
• She’s really good about closing the barn door since the horse escaped
• Who the hell is Ms. O’Leary?
• I want to be the hog butcher to the world
• I almost got run over by Roger Ebert once
• The last one that quit me was because of something I said to Evo
• Bang your wife for seven days straight
• Banging is what I would like to do, but he would like to promote intimacy
• He’s sleeping with your daughter, so he just wants to see where it came from
• You see how shitty of a job I’m doing
• My daughter would be terrified of you
• Evo & Debbie said it sucked, so we fixed it
• He is awesomely sarcastic
• That’s not an addiction, that’s an enjoyment
• Next week’s show will be all about dropping off teenagers
• I almost did it, but I said “Wait… I have a penis”
• I was trying to end the fucking show!

Podcast: Download (23.8MB)

Summary

A. Kovacs hangs with us, bringing back memories of my trying to control these three chicks (and more) at Dragon*Con. She’s just started podcasting over at Skepchick.org. Nice and fresh. Get the show now before it gets better! Drinking skeptic chicks. What could be better?

Debbie snuck in a promos for Nobilis Erotica. Give her the power to enginer and edit, she’s gonna take it.

Choice Bits

• P.G. and what he learned on last week’s show

• We started drinking at 4:00 this afternoon
• We’ll get back to “naughty”
• I’m relatively certain we don’t have permafrost in Arizona
• You know… my sister’s a glass blower
• I’m going to have to go down to the lobby and have someone unlace me.
• I’m the bitch, she’s the hun
• I know all about your kinks
• How about I give her a staple gun in the calf?
• Get tangled in the sheets and crack your head on the headboard
• It’s so creepy and frackin’ cool at the same time
• Debbie just came
• It’s amazing what they can do when they can take their dentures out
• Would you dry and fluff Kurt Russell
• It would suck to be a 90 year old duck
• What wouldn’t be better with Wesley Crusher?
• The power to bring back your virginity
• Sauce is the magic sauce

More… »

Podcast: Download (25.0MB)

Summary

Hey! It’s a new even cooler intro! Look at Debbie flexing her engineering skills…

Dan Feierabend from the Love Long and Prosper (and married to The Mighty Mommy) stops by to talk about his upcoming Danthol.com thing. Sheila’s extra bitchy at poor me (Debbie wrote that) and we discuss our her Black Friday plans.

And if you’d like to be on the show, check the Show Calendar for what’s happening here and other shows recorded at Gangplank HQ

Choice Bits

• Apologies for last week’s show
• Apologies for P.G., since he has no recap of said last week’s show
• Didn’t Evo used to podcast?
• His rap name is Red Headed Whiteboy
• Don’t spoil the bit!
• I like being locked in… and tied up
• Note to self: pay Debbie
• You’re talking about necrophilia?
• I’m not going to risk cancer just so I can get a piece of ass
• Can’t I just take a coat hanger and jam it down in there?
• You know we don’t have any money this year, don’t you?
• I’m enjoying rocking the mic with the pantyhose
• I’m gong to go register quickanddirtypantyhose.com
• You had me at “porn”

More… »

Podcast: Download (21.2MB)