Evo @ 11

Some guy named Tony Solano chats with us this week about social media.  I’m guessing the first steps in social media are getting visible on Facebook, twitter and/or LinkedIn. Sheila has an empty nest crying episode; I wish I could but my kids won’t leave. Evo pokes at the cops.

Choice Bits

• He’s trying to learn about social media by coming on our show?
• This would be the cul-de-sac of the journey that you’re on.
• Irony: Plagiarizing your report on plagiarizing.
• “Hit your lights when you’re gonna do this crazy maneuver!”
• Chains are effective for clearing out skateboarders.
• Campus Docs are the best thing in college.
• Toasted Subs. CHeBA Hut? (Website’s music sounds like 70′s porn)
• Ted’s Hot Dogs is the icon in hot dogs.
• The Hustler Store is now a daycare center.
• There’s no dildo store at Tempe Marketplace unless they open a Dicktoria Secret.
• Solo rope play isn’t as easy as you’d think, just ask David Carradine.
• EvoCon is now HallowEvo Con!
• “I betcha pretty soon you’re gonna give that to Debbie too.”
• The new FuckOff podcast.
• “Did you get to touch his mace?”
• “Just kind of rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?”
• Phil Plait‘s promo for the Atlanta Star Party just before Dragon*Con.
• Sheila’s really emotional breakdown. Sort of.
• NJ is going off to a local college, Ginnie isn’t doing a damn thing.
• Our children come by it naturally.
• Is he really Evo’s kid?
• YES WE ARE DOING THIS NEXT WEEK. WE ARE NOT GOING BI-WEEKLY.
• Arioch Morningstar is a romance novel name!
• There are 1,163 Debbie Walkers out there, but there’s only one like me.
• Be a better parent: knock the shit out of that kid!

Podcast: Download (24.9MB)

Audio pro Mike Hayden joins us in the studio. Usually on the other side of the mic, but what the hell. He did The Virgin Murders, an indie film.

Choice Bits

• Those credits are fucked up

• Wednesday doesn’t have two Ss
• Shall I take notes?
• Godsdamned geography-cast, again!
• It was either the best corndog I’ve ever had, or the worst lobster tail I’ve ever had
• Fried edamame?
• Just FYI: not fascinating audio
• I’m the only one he gave a reach around to
• Why does anybody want to listen to us?
• Close, but only a limp cigar
• Mom! Don’t talk with your mouth full
• It’s really hard to get sexual when your 2-year-old-granddaughter is 3′ away
• We had incredible adventuresome sex, and now I have more equipment
• That’s a long-distance booty call right there
• “For $0.50 more, he could have been your father…”
• Hell no he doesn’t want children — any more
• Same judge that married the dad put the son in jail
• Point me to the nearest cannabis cafe
• This is the 3rd time we’ve had this fucking conversation

Podcast: Download (28.5MB)

Debbie loves making new promos. So… another one! And since I was out of things to talk about, I asked Sunny Thaper to join us. And that’s always a good time. Every 18 episodes, we’ll bring you Sunny. And Sunny knocks out the outro for us!

Choice Bits

• We’re on vacation the next two weeks, so listen to this 3 times.
• You know what else works? Being brown.
• What do you use to keep the monkeys away from you?
• In India, our mosquitoes attack other smaller mosquitoes
• If you’re not canoeing into work, it’s not a monsoon
• I have been putting fake porn pictures of you up on the Internet
• I’m not sure RLS is on the same level as Dengue Virus
• Maybe they cut out her perspective during one of her brain surgeries
• Speaking of super abilities…
• I don’t recall what you said. Was I listening?
• I’m pissed off at Vs today
• Superheroes vs Supervillains fight Saturday, June 27th at 6:30. Come out!
• What is your superhero name, Sometimes Disabled Boy?
• Wait, you’re Indian. You know how to levitate.
• Sunny could be Sasquatch or Captain Caveman.
• You guys are being wacky in costumes while I’m singled out as the terrorist
• If you have to say “Is it offensive?”, it probably is
• He’ll bitch-slap you four times with one move
• That looks like an upside-down penis
• She could be Super Blame-Deflecting Girl
• The strip bars never close
• You and your girlfriend got ran out because they thought you were hookers
• Fanks Cj fo cookee

Podcast: Download (26.8MB)

Recorded on my birthday. What did you get me?

Choice Bits

• Math is hard

• Apologies for last week’s show.
• You fucked my day completely
• I’m trying to piss people off on purpose
• I spent the morning being lotioned-up by a 2 year old
• I look like Nappy Dan
• They call that David Attenborough Syndrome
• Into the Dark
• I plan on showing my ass again
• If there’s no drinking involved, we won’t do it for #evfn
• Vacation for Evo @ 11 crew coming up in July
• I’m pretty sure that precludes operating heavy machinery
• Wedge that thing right between your tits and you’ll be in the perfect spot
• That’s where the phrase “anal leakage” came from
• Would it be rude for me to say perhaps your daughter is in prostitution?
• She’s a pussy-enabler

Podcast: Download (27.3MB)

From that title alone, we should win some sort of prize. And if not for that, because Jeff Moriarty shows up… and pisses all over the new Star Trek movie. Then we get really nasty towards the end.

Choice Bits

• Did you swallow my eye?

• The theory about what color his dick was
• Great title for a movie: Guys in Space
• Paramount paid Jesus to endorse it
• Now I hate the movie thanks to everything you said
• His real name is Huge Ackman
• Fucking with the in-laws: good times
• You are sick and fucking demented
• Orc husband?
• Jesus is crying on me
• Fucking #followfriday
• I liked my idea of #felatiofriday
• Technorama is coming back!
• You’ve got your pasta in a twist…
• I call him a pussy all the damned time
• Quizno’s did not pay for these spots
• Gives a whole different meaning to “secret sauce”
• She’s talking to that passed-out bitch in the corner
• Men, for some reason, want to watch women pee
• I can’t stick my vagina through a hole
• I feel better. I’ve been raunchy.

Podcast: Download (28.6MB)

The alternate title for this episode was “Puppet show and John Managan”.

Choice Bits

• Apologies for last week’s show

• P.G. tells you what you missed last week
• They want all those kids to get sick
• No, that would be the firth of fifth
• What is this “we” shit? You got a mouse in your pocket?
• You’re stepping on my toes
• Post-gun check but pre-drinking
• I wanna fuck your livestock like an animal
• I do an impersonation of John Denver
• My audience is numerically challenged
• What does a live pan look like?
• The exact opposite of puking is gurgitating
• This conversation is very vealing
• Is that a verb involving Steve Eley?
• Penny beers are worth… pennies
• She’s really nice. I’m not sure what to do.
• I don’t give a frog’s fat ass what the clock says

Podcast: Download (25.5MB)

Another new intro for Debbie! Me thinks she’s digging this engineering stuff. Sweet! She’s available for hire.

Promo for Skepticality
Promo for Balticon

Did you know we’re live on Ustream.tv each week? Yep. Wednesdays. 5:30-ish Phoenix time.

Choice Bits

• Apologies for last week’s show.

• I fucked up last week’s show.
• Some bullshit brain event of Derek’s
• Earth Day — the one day a year when you actually recycle
• I have a thing for crunchy, earthy, granola chicks
• That goes against the Convenience Arrow
• I want a fucking piece of gum, not an archaeological dig
• That’s not me being a selfish prick
• This is the least offensive episode ever
• It’s not a moo moo
• If you wanna walk around buck naked…
• They have the best Goodwill ever in Hawaii
• Duct tape her to the mattress and she won’t roll off
• Maybe the child is just… retarded?
• Shit solidly together
• You useless bitch
• Her name is Venus Skywalker?
• She’s a truck stop tripper
• What the fuck does e plurbis unum mean?
• Give me your dollar and I will give you a nice shiny nickel
• I don’t do vampires

Podcast: Download (27.3MB)

You already know this show tends to be offensive. Well this episode is even more so. As in, really offensive. This is the social media bitch show, and then it sort of spirals out of control. You have been warned.

Where the hell did we get a voicemail from? Where did Brad P. from NJ leave this call? We don’t have a voice mail line! I’m hella confused.

Promo for Love Long and Prosper

Choice Bits

• If it’s not a small dog, someone died on it

• One thing: shut the fuck up.
• I do believe you’ve finally hit an eleven
• 120 is the new 140
• What the fuck are you people following me for?
• Oh, by the way: Satan is my lord
• God-awful cinnamon cakes?
• Why are you following me, you stupid bitch?
• That wasn’t very Xian of you
• Can we follow the thread? It’s not that gods damned hard…
• Fucking Jack Mangan…
• I’m not talking about “The Lesbian Issue”
• Tyler said it with a penis, and that was the problem
• I can’t even tuck my tits back in there
• You put the “tart” in Tartan, Debbie
• If you want to go back and offend the lesbians, knock yourselves out
• Are you only offensive if you are trying to be offensive?
• You don’t go rip her a new asshole. You know why? She’s going to die.
• I often try to be offensive
• And we can’t call them “lickalottapus”
• I’m not sure I’m renewing your contract
• Fuck off, shithead

Podcast: Download (25.1MB)

Summary

Clintus McGintus joins us on this weeks show. And wow, is this all over the place. Just read the Choice Bits and look at the keywords. Not enough coherence from topic to topic to easily generate Detailed Show Notes. I blame Clintus and Sheila.

Evo wants more beer. Sheila still wants more podcast recommendations. Debbie needs a car. Help with one or all of those. Please?

Promos played: Podcamp AZ

Beer consumed: Shannon Farrell‘s Imperial IPA

Oh, and we now have a promo. It’ll change often. Look in the sidebar. And play it on your show.

Choice Bits

• Debbie apologies for last week
• P.G. recaps last week Or just nabs the funny bits. Funny extract? Distilled humor?
• You don’t know, Clintus, because you don’t listen to our show.
• Karma is a bitch
• I am going to cripple myself so there’s no way she can kill me
• You actually keep screwing up my game
• Fuck the environment
• I want to be able to beat my children
• If you buy me this gun, I’ll give you this car I just stole
• Don’t burn your toast in the bathtub
• Why is it whenever we talk about stupid people, they have an accent?
• I know a guy who started a polyamory club
• You got some weird friends, man
• Did you want to announce your divorce now, on the show?

Podcast: Download (35.2MB)