Evo @ 11

The alternate title for this episode was “Puppet show and John Managan”.

Choice Bits

• Apologies for last week’s show

• P.G. tells you what you missed last week
• They want all those kids to get sick
• No, that would be the firth of fifth
• What is this “we” shit? You got a mouse in your pocket?
• You’re stepping on my toes
• Post-gun check but pre-drinking
• I wanna fuck your livestock like an animal
• I do an impersonation of John Denver
• My audience is numerically challenged
• What does a live pan look like?
• The exact opposite of puking is gurgitating
• This conversation is very vealing
• Is that a verb involving Steve Eley?
• Penny beers are worth… pennies
• She’s really nice. I’m not sure what to do.
• I don’t give a frog’s fat ass what the clock says

Podcast: Download (25.5MB)

Cj Fiero-bender joins us. And the topics are all over the place. I thought this show was supposed to be about me, dammit!?!

Choice Bits

• These are my bitches

• It’s Debbie’s birthday
• I didn’t bring you the Swine flu
• There are more people killed every year by deer
• Balticon 43 promo
• It tastes like adrenaline, as in I just chewed someone’s adrenal gland
• The inside is liquid evil
• All joking aside — that was vile. And it might have been bile.
• It’s one side of your evil face in the dark
• Seth Harwood coming to Phoenix in June
• Are you over 21?
• Do not deliver to an intoxicated person
• Did you get something from dildos.com?
• Watch the video of Seth’s dog eating a steak
• There weren’t too many people drunker than Cj that night
• … and I just leapt into his arms because I had been drinking
• He was like a drink-ticket ATM
• Love Long and Prosper promo
• You usually dress like I do — as little as socially possible
• Assless chaps, baby
• You showed her the vinyl outfit?
• We can’t offend people anymore
• For the record, you can give anyone a blow job, on air, for your birthday, or just because it’s Wednesday
• The flu is not on peoples’ ass
• I don’t care how big your ass is, you’re not going to get the swine flu from it
• His friend had to go to Best Buy to take a dump

Podcast: Download (26.6MB)

Another new intro for Debbie! Me thinks she’s digging this engineering stuff. Sweet! She’s available for hire.

Promo for Skepticality
Promo for Balticon

Did you know we’re live on Ustream.tv each week? Yep. Wednesdays. 5:30-ish Phoenix time.

Choice Bits

• Apologies for last week’s show.

• I fucked up last week’s show.
• Some bullshit brain event of Derek’s
• Earth Day — the one day a year when you actually recycle
• I have a thing for crunchy, earthy, granola chicks
• That goes against the Convenience Arrow
• I want a fucking piece of gum, not an archaeological dig
• That’s not me being a selfish prick
• This is the least offensive episode ever
• It’s not a moo moo
• If you wanna walk around buck naked…
• They have the best Goodwill ever in Hawaii
• Duct tape her to the mattress and she won’t roll off
• Maybe the child is just… retarded?
• Shit solidly together
• You useless bitch
• Her name is Venus Skywalker?
• She’s a truck stop tripper
• What the fuck does e plurbis unum mean?
• Give me your dollar and I will give you a nice shiny nickel
• I don’t do vampires

Podcast: Download (27.3MB)

Warning: I’ve been drinking as I do these show notes. 1 Goose Island Bourbon Stout. 2 Dale’s Pale Ale. And it’s late. So deal. And I forgot to do keywords. Sorry. Off my game.

Beau Frusetta joins us. He oozes Choice Bits. Maybe I’ve had too much to drink, but this is pretty fucking funny.

Choice Bits

• Doesn’t Evo look like George Clooney?
• What a dick…
• Fuck, is the dog from Phoenix, too?
• Woof woof, bitches… let me in!
• Golden showers mixed with bestiality is probably someone’s trick
• Did you just say your ex-wife was pregnant when you met her?
• Are you going to teach your son to wrap that rascal?
• You’re the one that likes to fuck pregnant chicks
• And now for a completely inappropriate place to drop a promo for TAM 7, by James “The Amazing” Randi!
• I know some Mormons that have beans and rice
• We just get drunk and have sex with underage girls
• We should have a magic underwear party
• I know a great Jew tax attorney
• Can you take a panda head and put it on a deer body?
• Stupid bitch jumps — FUCKING JUMPS — into polar bear enclosure in Germany
• Evo’s still my boy
• There’s not a drool towel big enough
• Is this like the porn convention?
• Some dick cut her off
• Don’t get stoned before you come on the show next time
• Truculent? That’s not even a word. You can’t define a word with another word that I don’t know what the fuck it means!

Podcast: Download (28.2MB)

Scotty J. joins us.

Choice Bits

• No apologies for last week’s show.

• But there’s no fucking way I can do show notes. Probably were some gems in here. Can’t hear ‘em. So if someone — perhaps my hi-fucking-larious co-hosts — wants to create more effective notes, have at it. Funny girls.

Podcast: Download (23.5MB)

On April 1 2007, we lost someone very close to us. Joe Murphy. This show is in his honor. I think he would have liked it. We try not to get too sappy and weepy. Charlie the Beer Guy and Dan Shaurette join us live, with Jack Mangan — quite literally — phoning it in.

Choice Bits

• Apologies from last week. I blame Debbie.
• They had that nasty “root beer” flavor
• Why did you have to drink warm, flat ginger ale?
• Your mother was… an idiot
• Joe had the taste buds of a six-year-old
• Tell us your midget porn story
• We could corner the market on circus midget porn
• MidgetPornCircus.com. Free plug!
• I’m sorry… you have the clap?
• Don’t be a pussy
• I want to see you shotgun a Strongbow
• Being a world-class black belt complainer…
• You’ll find me under “Father Cock Daddy”
• All that porn…
• Mason Rocket by Beatnik Turtle takes us out. We all miss Joe. And we’ll do this again next year.

Podcast: Download (28.1MB)

I don’t think you can write explicit large enough to describe this new opening. Holy cow.

Get three SF geeks in a room and give two of them beer, and this is what happens.

Choice Bits

• Apologies for last week.
• Spot the Cannabis Leaf
• Ejaculate and ejaculate are spelled the same, yet pronounced differently
• I think I just made that word up, too
• Oh my god this is some nasty shit!
• We’re just gonna drink more of this shit and just get stupid drunk after about 3 more drinks
• It coats, soothes and relieves
• Is there a backwards-talking midget?
• You’re not Jonathan Coulton
• But they both end in “illion”
• 10^+5th, 10^-5th… whatever.
• The difference is more than you can conceive in your tiny little ape-brain
• If Hera is mitochondrial Eve, we should all have a little Centurion brain in us
• I don’t have all the factoids up my ass
• I think humans came from another planet
• That ball-and-socket joint was built by god
• Go in the past and bugger Ben
• I have been trying my best to warp myself
• I’m pretty sure your kids are all from different dads.
• Special show next week for Joe

Podcast: Download (34.8MB)

You already know this show tends to be offensive. Well this episode is even more so. As in, really offensive. This is the social media bitch show, and then it sort of spirals out of control. You have been warned.

Where the hell did we get a voicemail from? Where did Brad P. from NJ leave this call? We don’t have a voice mail line! I’m hella confused.

Promo for Love Long and Prosper

Choice Bits

• If it’s not a small dog, someone died on it

• One thing: shut the fuck up.
• I do believe you’ve finally hit an eleven
• 120 is the new 140
• What the fuck are you people following me for?
• Oh, by the way: Satan is my lord
• God-awful cinnamon cakes?
• Why are you following me, you stupid bitch?
• That wasn’t very Xian of you
• Can we follow the thread? It’s not that gods damned hard…
• Fucking Jack Mangan…
• I’m not talking about “The Lesbian Issue”
• Tyler said it with a penis, and that was the problem
• I can’t even tuck my tits back in there
• You put the “tart” in Tartan, Debbie
• If you want to go back and offend the lesbians, knock yourselves out
• Are you only offensive if you are trying to be offensive?
• You don’t go rip her a new asshole. You know why? She’s going to die.
• I often try to be offensive
• And we can’t call them “lickalottapus”
• I’m not sure I’m renewing your contract
• Fuck off, shithead

Podcast: Download (25.1MB)

Rachel Reese joins us this week. And I’m kinda liking this format of show notes where I skip the Detailed Show Notes. I’m thinking those are now officially a thing of the past.

Choice Bits

• Apologies for last week’s show, with P.G. Holyfield telling you why.

• She’s going to be an escort
• Have you thought about firebombing them?
• Please give me the breathalyzer
• I heard all about those, but I’m not that old
• Don’t put the shitty beer in my fridge
• He’s 26 and wants to move back in with his mother
• The tortoise sex is very noisy
• You don’t know what Dragon*con is? What the hell is wrong with you?
• I’m not pissing off the side of the roof
• If I had a dinglehopper and I could whip it out…
• So it’s back to dick jokes already, is it?
• I shaved my balls for this?
• Swallow or it’s going in your eye
• Everybody wanted to be Debbie
• You’re kind of a fucking bummer
• I look damn fucking sexy in a Playboy Bunny outfit
• I could wear my loincloth

Podcast: Download (23.4MB)

This show is way to jumpy for detailed show notes. So deal with the choice bits and keywords for the most part. We do put a wrap on Tyler‘s question You must hang out for the ending! Thanks, Brad P from N.J. for the new one!

Promo for Love Long and Prosper. Sounds like a threesome between Dan, CJ and Jack.

Choice Bits

• Apologies for last week. P.G. was late. That’ll teach him

• Evo fucked up in front of 300+ people
• I like my women cheap and dirty when they are wearing makeup.
• And this may be a sign that I’m an alcoholic
• You are actually much better at submission than I am
• I don’t want to be cute, I want to be laid
• You just let her spray something in your mouth?
• Not furries, because furries are nasty
• Think how much Jesus hates you right now
• You’d be able to figure this out quicker if you stopped drinking all the time
• Get off my lawn!
• One deep dicking and she switches right back
• If only I had a shorter cock

Podcast: Download (23.2MB)